Zach McCulloch Update - September 20, 2008 - Today is the Greatest

Today is the Greatest

How can I explain what Zach’s cancer has done to change our perceptions in life? It has helped define love way beyond the scope of comprehension that we had in 2005 BC (before cancer). I Love You has always been part of the language, but it has taken on a deep and profound meaning when you find that someone you love is potentially not going to be here to receive your love or to return it. Love is more than affection, attraction, tenderness or calling someone sweetheart, honey or dear. It is what remains and is constant no matter what the time and place if you make it so. When you see that everything you have in your life could potentially go away then what is left? Love! And when you finally realize that love is what remains, then guess what? You actually realize that Love is enough! Not money, not possessions, not someone else’s life. Stopping and giving of yourself the best that you can do. Love remains forever do not be sad at what might have been, be happy for what is.

Do I HATE? Absolutely! I hate this cancer and what it has done to the emotional and physical well being of our son as well as our family and friends. I loathe this. I see many young children besides Zach, which seem to come wave after wave with their ports and IV poles and their bald heads. We have been privy to a view that we hope no one sees in their lifetime. Parents that have an unoccupied look in their eyes, you know, the I can not believe this is happening to us look. Eventually though, parents realize that they are keeping a prime directive (see ROBOCOP, this really does pop up in your vision) to see their children through when they are scared and protect them. This is the spark that catches on. They spend more time with their loved ones, listen to them when they speak (intently), show a consistency of always being there (Paula has been with Zach every step, he wakes up there is MOM) and finally EVERYDAY tell your family that you love them (this easy go ahead and do it).

Still with all of this going on, I wish that there were more hours in everyday, more days in every week and more months in every year so that we can all be together longer. Zach has a cancer that can not be cured. It can only be beaten back. Remission or the coveted NED (no evidence of disease) is part of what can be managed and then a hope for a cure someday. This is a cold reality yet again love comes into play and is the spark that keeps us going. We still are in the world, we still have our family. Sure we are a bit battered but we have all stood against this fiend and have found that our love has withstood this as well.

Prayers go out to Lynn Doxey and her beautiful daughter Elizabeth our hearts break as we hear the news that this cancer is being relentless. Please pray for them the link below to leave messages of support.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/elizabethdoxey

To the Campus, Meiner, Turcotte, Fuentes, and Zabicki families (and many others of course) we send love and prayers your way. Each of your situations we draw strength and hope from.

Love,

Kevin, Paula, James, Zachary, Gage and Sierra (thank God for the girl).

Zach Update - September 15, 2008 - Last Planned Week

Today Zach goes in for a full week of chemo and Paula will be there with him. According to the schedule associated with the protocol, this will do it for planned hospital stays. Zach has stayed the course and will continue to do so. We are so fortunate that we are still able to go and have this treatment once more on our journey for life. We have great hope for the future but will remain forever on guard. We will work life around this and make the best of everything.

Love to all,

Kevin, Paula, James, Zachary, Gage and Sierra

Zach McCulloch Update - September 4, 2008 - Zach Scans

Zach Scans

Just a quick update...

As we near the end of this round of treatment we are grateful to the heavenly father for blessing us with excellent results. Zach had 3 scans today and everyone came back with flying colors No Evidence of Disease...

We still have 10 weeks to go but the progress is what one hopes for. This cancer never relents. It's ability to find new ways to manifest itself is truly incredible. We will never fall asleep at the wheel when it comes to keeping this out of our son's body and out of our lives.

Although we have heard this news before during Zach's first battle we are relieved. The difference is that Zach is now going to finish the remaining treatments and then switch to new protocols that involve maintenance of this condition.

Zach wishes he did not have to do anything but we also know that this cancer takes no prisoners and in order to keep it from recurring he will move to taking chemotherapy in low doses via pill, in conjunction with a push (through his picc line but ultimately a port. This means the ability to get back to the new normal after a reconstruct of his head as well as his stomach area that they removed fat and muscle from his last operation which removed the cancer the best they could as well as form an organic seal.

We look at this new phase as being no different than someone that treats diabetes or heart problems. Many need to take medicine to maintain a quality of life. For Zach the hope remains that a cure comes along while dealing with this "chronic" condition. Scans every three months for the foreseeable future.

Anyway we pray for those still facing this battle that they get the type of news we are fortunate to get. We are tempered by the fact that others have lost loved ones or are still having all of the collateral damage continue. This is most draining. We will never be the same again mostly in good ways... This of course is not ever going to be over but rest may be something that can occur.

Love,

Kevin, Paula, James, Zachary, Gage and Sierra