Zach McCulloch Update - 12/31/2009 - Extra, Extra read all about it!

I would need the Sunday edition of the New York Times, front to back every section plus the Christmas ads to fully describe all things Zachary. Then I would need a special addtion as well. Instead I have reposted his obituary below as it appeared in The Herald News/Suburban Chicago addtion today and again tomorrow.

Truly amazing stuff. Our neighbors on our street place luminaries all around our street in honor of our son and to show their love for us. I will post pictures later but thanks to all of you............

See, love is the key, for those that figure this out early in life you truly are blessed.

Thanks for the messages of support for our son and our family from our caepages family.

Ashton Miller has had a few hiccups on her trip to Paris but I understand that she is having a fabulous time. Pray that cancer gets wiped from the face of the earth. Many people are heartbroken, sad and need prayers as well. Always someone that has it worse than you even in your darkest hours.

Zachary Donald McCulloch, see you sometime our son. Thank you God for letting him pass in his sleep. I hope that you are keeping after him... He will be the one listening to Eminem, I told him to listen to the edited version from Walmart upon arrival.

Zachary Donald McCulloch, 19, of Plainfield, IL.

Zachary bravely fought a 3 ½ year battle with Rhabdomyosarcoma cancer and peacefully entered his eternal life on December 29, 2009 with his family at his side. He was born April 15, 1990 in Indianapolis, IN. He is survived by his devoted parents, Kevin and Paula McCulloch; his special brothers and sister, James, Gage and Sierra McCulloch; his paternal grandparents, Donald and Shirley McCulloch, and maternal grandparents, Thomas and Virginia Antczak; as well as many loving aunts, uncles, cousins and friends; and his dog, Wishes. Zachary was a proud graduate of the first class from Plainfield North High School. He loved spending time at the family cabin on the Ausable River in Northern Michigan. Music was a big part of his life and he connected with the songs of Sublime, My Chemical Romance, Avenged Sevenfold and Eminem. He enjoyed football and his Chicago Bears. Above all else, Zach loved his family and friends.

A celebration of Zachary's life will be held on Saturday, January 2, 2010 from 3:00 until 7:00 PM at the Overman-Jones Funeral Home, Plainfield and CASUAL ATTIRE IS REQUIRED.

The family would appreciate any memorials being made to the Bear Necessities Pediatric Cancer Foundation, 55 West Wacker Dr, Suite 1100, Chicago, IL 60601 or at www.bearnecessities.org.

Friends are encouraged to bring a copy of a favorite picture(s) of Zachary to share with his family. OVERMAN-JONES FUNERAL HOME Coroner of Routes 30 & 59, Plainfield (815) 436-9221 or www.overman-jones.com

Love,

Kevin, Paula, James, Zachary (Forever 19), Gage and Sierra

In Loving Memory of Zachary Donald McCulloch - Goodbye Celebration - January 2nd, 2010

A celebration of Zachary's life will be held on January 2nd, 2010 from 3:00p.m - 7:00p.m at the Overman-Jones Funeral Home, Plainfield and CASUAL ATTIRE IS REQUIRED.

Friends are encouraged to bring a copy of a favorite picture (s) of Zachary to share with his family.

Zach McCulloch Update - 12/29/2009 - This journey ends.... A new one begins...

A Parents Lament

(I can’t believe he is gone)

There is no more dying only one who is dead
Cancer could not take the loving thoughts from his head
The dominion that cancer thought it could own
Has now vanished on the wings that to heaven have flown
The spirit that shone bright will never be gone
For it is the essence of this to which we were drawn
It has penetrated the hearts of loved ones left behind
It echoes with memories in the heart and the mind
The release that came was by your own provision
Cancer did not make the final decision
So rest gentle and long our beautiful son
Know that your purpose on earth was indisputably done
Your story passed on by generations forevermore
For you are the one that we will always adore
From the start we were blessed with unwavering love
For you were given to us from God above

This poem that I have written for our son, brother, cousin, grandson, friend comes from a piece of my heart that is gone forever. I can only measure his time with us by the amount of love that we were blessed with and the amount that will continue. I expect that the remaining part of our hearts will heal and we have learned to not take for granted the many blessings that are still abundant. The truths that we have learned from the experience, we will try to share so that others do not need to have such a life changing event be their wake up call. The Earth will continue to turn, the sun will continue to shine and the wind will blow but maybe just a little colder for awhile.

We will update again when clarity has arrived. In the meantime if anyone was planning on sending flowers please send them to a person who is living and that you cherish. No better tribute could be done then this in Zach’s memory. Flowers are another blessing for us all and should be enjoyed by the living!

We continue to try and understand the lessons that God has for us and know that his plan is one that has no oversight.

Love,

Kevin, Paula, James, Zachary (forever 19), Gage and Sierra (“A daughter is a miracle that never ceases to be miraculous...full of beauty and forever beautiful...loving and caring and truly amazing”).

Zach McCulloch Update - 12/28/2009 - Holidaze

Dazed but not confused, we understand completely what is happening in our lives and are trying to make the best of this story yet to unfold. I cannot say what life will be like without Zachary, I can only assume that it will hurt beyond imagination but since that day has not arrived it makes it easier to live in the moments we have now.

We had a nice Christmas together, Zach tried to crawl from his bed and down the stairs to open presents and take pictures but the best he could do was get to the top of the stairs, sit for 15 minutes and then turn around and crawl back to his bed. His brothers and sister carried every present upstairs and we had a fun time watching each other un-wrap their gifts.

Zach went through all of the Sunday ads very carefully and sent me on a shopping spree for his Mother, and brothers and sister. He circled everything out, gave me money and sent me on my way. I must tell you that shopping (especially this time of year) is not one of my favorite things to do but in this case it was a very nice distraction. Every gift picked out was perfect and will be cherished for years to come.

Zach has his pain meds and they seem to be working fine, hospice continues to escalate the dose schedule it seems almost every other day (he is my Mighty Morphine Power Ranger). The main tumor that has grown on his carotid has now grown outside of the ear. His hearing is totally gone on that side. He can barely speak so he is writing many messages which have alleviated the frustration from trying to guess at what was being said. Zach says now would be a good time to play Pictionary!!

We still pray for a miracle that the tumor(s) would disappear but also we pray that if it is God's will to take our son then that it is done in the kindest way possible (I know oxymoron, cancer and kind). We have found ways to say I love you in every minute and second that we have (this is easy as we have always done this).
We all continue to be dazed by this process waiting for a miracle or a loved one to die sure keeps everyone in a holding pattern. There is no handbook (other than the bible maybe) that can prepare you to deal with the minute to minute haze that you operate in. As I will mention though, we still have Zach with us and are trying to live life to the fullest even though we are now confined to his bedroom. Zach still goes on facebook, he still watches his favorite shows on tv, he still reads, he still allows us to kiss him and gently rub our cheeks on his head or his own cheek (hugs are pretty much difficult). His sense of humor still can come through but also there is still the spark for life yet. Zach will make it into the New Year; he is willing himself to do so.

We want to thank everyone for their messages of support; these continue to let us know we are not alone. I especially want to thank James, Gage and Sierra for the love and support they have been giving during this process. I have 4 amazing children and of course 1 amazing wife (and Mom), who I swear, is 15 people with everything she manages to do.

Finally I need to thank God for giving us the source of strength that one needs during such a time.

Love,

Kevin, Paula, James, Zach, Gage and Sierra (“The beauty of a girl cannot be mimicked, fabricated, or created by human means, it only occurs naturally”).

Zach McCulloch Update - 12/18/2009 - No one should have to go through this!

Zachary is in much pain right this minute due to the tumor on his carotid artery. Paula just applied a fentanyl patch and hopefully this will work soon..

His base line for heart rate and breathing has changed and is now lower. This is all part of the body and mind and the change in his deteriorating condition. These days are the most blessed of all as we still have the 6 of us together. Zach is hoping he can make it into the New Year!!!

Helpless does not adequately describe the feeling we have right now.

Please pray for a miracle and if this is not forthcoming please pray that Zachary can go as peacefully as possible. (God's grace one way or the other).

Ashton Miller is going to Paris! What a wonderful gift so many people have given.

Please pray for so many others as well....

Love,
Kevin, Paula, James, Zachary,Gage and Sierra

Zach McCulloch Update - 12/9/2009 - Ashton Miller

Hi Everyone,

Zach wanted to travel but got too sick so if you could check out the site below and perhaps send 1 dollar, 5 dollars or 10 dollars you can help a lovely family try and make a trip of a lifetime. Believe me there is much comfort in any memories that can be made....

Please if you can reach out and help Ashton Miller.

Ashton Miller Site at Caringbridge.org

She too has Rhabdomyosa​rcoma.

Here is the donation site:

Ashton's Angels

Thank You!

Zach McCulloch Update - 12/6/2009 - Sound of Laughter

Right now I am listening to the sound of laughter coming from our home. We have so much to be thankful for...

Zachary is still with us and has done a more than admirable job visiting with his Aunts and Uncles, cousins and friends.

We have such loving neighbors as well where we live. They provided us with a feast for this whole weekend and beyond!! Thank You Karen and Kathleen and of course your families. We appreciate your love and support and for always thinking about us.

Thanks so much to my sisters Heather and Robin, my brother Stan and my brother Don. My brother Don had a massive stroke last Friday November 27th, he is not expected to make it but he is here with us in spirit. He would have loved to have been here with us but is recovering in Michigan to the best of his ability but has decided not to take additional measures to prolong his life. Unfortunately he has lost all of the everyday abilities that we take for granted that give us quality in our day to day life.

Please pray for my brother Don and his wife and 3 sons (miracles and hope are out there....)

Meaningful conversations have been had with God and with each other. Love is an amazing thing…..
Love,
Kevin, Paula, James, Zachary, Gage and Sierra (“A Daughter Is... ...your greatest source of pride and your greatest hope for the future... The happiest moment of your life was the day she was introduced to the world.”)